M 33 F 32 girlfriend wants me to leave and idk if she actually means it or is just saying it as a defensive mechanism?

33 m 32f

She become very toxic, yelling at me when I get home from work and starting arguments.

It's reached the point where im struggling to control my self and reacting negatively and hurting her back. Also the thought of restarting my life over again even though it feels like the only option at this point scares the shit out of me considering I just started a new job here a couple of months ago.