Does it ever get easier?

I was told that I was the avoidant. That I was the problem. All these things and everything was always my fault I was meeting this need wasn’t doing this enough. Always would ask how it was going if I was doing a good job and would be told yes I was. Then boom. Checks out. Won’t talk about things. It in fact was never enough. Totally guiltless about it. I’m crushed and don’t see a light ever at the end of tunnel.