I am not ready to leave, but is staying the right decision? + I am rapunzel

I have spent 5 years telling myself I will leave once I graduate and get a good degree, get a job with good work life balance, and a salary that allows me to live comfortably. If I leave before that, I will work min wage jobs and take whatever pays better and fall into a random field I don't even enjoy, all while living near extreme poverty. I knew of someone who did just that and doesn't even have the chance to study something they enjoy because they are working overtime just to live. A life dedicated solely to survival is not any better than a pimo life. So I always thought waiting was the wisest decision all things considered.

But am I not just waiting to live? What even are the odds of me even accomplishing that ever? There's a lot of people that never get that degree and job they like and are always living paycheck to paycheck. Not that I want to be them but realizing my timeline I set might not even happen ever! I honestly think 5 yrs of living rent free wouldve be enough to do it but I didn't lock in... How would I feel if I get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow? Knowing that all I did was wait for the right time to start living?

I got too comfortable. My parents allowed me to not go to the meetings and cut all the bullshit with the only exception that I follow all JW rules under their roof. I felt that was reasonable and because I've always been a text book definition of a good kid, I never bothered lying to my parents and doing otherwise. I became a bit of a hermit and relaxed too much.

THIS PART IS STORY TELLING YOU DONT NEED TO READ Lately I've made it my goal to just be outside the house and I feel much better than bedrotting all day. Usually my parents will go with me to wherever I go (that's sounds crazy now that I wrote it down) but I never really cared tbh they'll even follow me to the gym or even if I want to chill at the park they will invite themselves and I never realized how crazy it is for them to follow me. I overhead my parents planning their work schedule so one of them is always available to go with me "so I'm not alone" and because I'm stupid and have no friends I just thought it was kinda sweet. So wherever I want to go I'll just take my parents. I only realized how weird it is when I wanted to go to a concert. My mom of course invited herself but I told her that I'm honestly not buying her a ticket and even if I wanted to spend $90 for her to go to an artist she's never heard of, the tickets are sold out already. So this was the first time in 5 yrs I wanted to do something my parents couldn't go to and they guilt tripped me and my mom was telling me she would drive me there and wait there until it was over. At the end I felt overwhelmed and didn't go to the concert and I cried the entire day... The next occasion was when I enrolled to an swimming class. They didn't want to commit and pay for the class and go 2x/week with me so they nagged and nagged and promised to go swimming with me during the summer as a replacement and I said fine, I AM LIKE THEIR PET after all. But the problem is they fucking didn't. It's funny to think that if they did go swim with me I probably wouldn't even care about leaving 😂😂🤦‍♀️. And here comes my first lie in 23 yrs; because my parents are fatasses, they only followed me to the gym the first couple times I started going and occasionally will check to see im actually at the gym but rarely. So gym is completely unsupervised time😮 I know shocker. So I've been telling them I'm at the gym when I'm actually swimming which is literally the same to me but they have a problem with the former. I arrive at home with my hair damp so they know and this is stressing them out and there's a lot of tension now. Because I broke their trust to go swim now they are very suspicious of me even going to work :/ Of course because I am their pet I have confirmed my work schedule with them these 5 yrs so gym is really the only unsupervised time. Notice how all I wanted was to go to a concert and swim? That's completely normal stuff. Why do I have to live a Rapunzel lifestyle not even normal JW kids do that. But the main reason why I want to leave is not even that related to jw anymore. If youve read all that you noticed I have become extremely codependent with my parents. And I can't speak up to them, I wish I could just ask them what's wrong with me trying to get out the house more. I'm not even gonna pull anyone??? Relax. But I can never speak up. Im actually surprised I lied for the first time in my life.

Tldr I feel I need to move out because I am becoming stunted living with my JW parents. I used to say it was unobtainable but I do have a job that's not too bad and is even giving me a free bachelor's online. I have a year of expenses worth in my savings and I could afford to rent a room and live paycheck to paycheck. (But with savings for emergencies) The only thing holding me back is fear and honestly that I don't know if having a stranger as a roommate is better than my overbearing parents. But I don't know if it's good to keep waiting to live. All I wanted was to swim