vent- boobs

Idk if this will get taken down, but I am so very tired of feeling like I have something on me that doesn’t feel like me. I tried and I tried so hard to love them but I do not love them. They are pretty for others I supposed but to me they are just a reminder of what I am lacking. I am tired of feeling this way and I know others can relate so even just the tiniest consolation will help me not feel guilty for not loving these things back. I am trying to hit the gym more for chest so they can get smaller but I quite frankly can’t stand to look in the mirror at them sometimes. I’m sorry to anyone who may feel triggered, I just am at a point of acceptance that I do not want this for myself and I do not know where to start and I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this right now. I have binders and tape but I’m just so so burnt out from this and I hate wearing binders bc it hurts my back after some hours.