He said he was conflicted

I need help. My boyfriend told me that hes confused about his sexuality and he thinks that he likes men. We’ve been through a lot together. We cried through a lot together and we’ve been growing together and learning how to love each other better. Suddenly he kept saying that he thinks someone else will be better for me and i wouldnt accept that for an answer and after a long time he finally sat me down and told me this. He hugged me through it. He says that he still has love for me, not just in the way that I want him to.

He says he doesnt know what makes it different from me and for another guy. But that he’s conflicted now. Hes now been exposed to more gay couples and gay people and somehow seeing them made him think “oh they look happy too.” He thinks it started long before but his feelings were just suppressed due to his parents and because our school is conservative as well. He said he was thinking about talking to a therapist too. He thinks that hes sinning. He was meaning to talk to a therapist before talking to me but circumstances changed and now he did.

He told me everything about our relationship was real and he never faked a laugh or a smile with me and that at some point he did see me romantically. He reassured me that his confusion is the only reason why he broke up with me and not because of anything that ive done or anything about me. He even said that theres nobody else and hes not interested in anybody else right now, and maybe even for a while. He kept reassuring that its not because im not enough. He cried a lot as well.

We talked for hours. His family knows me so much and they’re conservative so he cannot tell them the truth as well. Everyone who knows me knows him and I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s everywhere in my house but I cant delete our posts or take down our stuff because it would be as if im erasing our relationship. But it did happen. It was real.

It’s been 5 days and I just feel empty. All i want to do is call him and ask him how I can heal from him but I know that I shouldnt. I cant really go out often so how do i distract myself? In everything that i do i just want to tell him all about it. What should I do? I havent been able to sleep in my room. Im sorry for talking too much. This isnt even enough to explain. I dont know where else to go. I was able to tell my family and my closest friend about the real reason, i asked him for his permission if that was okay since even he doesnt know for sure about his sexuality and that hes still closeted. (He didnt force me or beg me to not tell anyone but I know how outing him to other people is not my secret to tell.)

How can he throw away our relationship to see where it goes with someone else. How can he be so unsure about his preference but be so sure that he wants to leave me? How can he start over again? I love him so much. We saw a future together. He says he saw a future with me too. He said that he was looking forward to more memories with me just last week. And just a few weeks ago we just celebrated our anniversary and when i asked him what he thought about our milestone he said he wanted for our relationship to continue.

How can we go from that to this in just a span of days? There isnt anything that i can hate about him. He said “Im sorry for being like this.” Through the arguments that we’ve had hes always been so understanding and so patient. I dont know what to do. I kept asking him to give me a year to let us work through this together but he said that that wouldnt be fair for me. Even now hes still considering me. Im in so much pain. Please.

I dont even know what I want to get from posting this. Maybe insights? Comfort? Or what you would do if you were me.. i posted this on a diff subreddit too but i don’t know i feel so lost i need more people?