AITA for hanging out with my friend and not inviting the other?
I (23F) have two good friends, Amy (20F) and Bridgett (19F). We all met at work. We would laugh and joke around a lot, and we used to hang out all the time and we have known each other for over a year now. Something shifted between Amy and Bridgett, as they haven’t been speaking, and I’m getting blamed for hanging out with one of them.
Two weeks ago, Bridgett picked me up from the airport and talked to me about Amy, saying “she doesn’t really listen to me when I talk, and it feels like she doesn’t care about the topic unless it’s about her”, which I understood her frustration. I told her that it happens to me too, and Amy has spoken to me about that before. I tried to help by asking if she’s spoken to her about this or if she’s told her how it makes her feels, which she responded by saying “no and I shouldn’t have to initiate that conversation if I haven’t done anything”.
I asked Amy about this situation to get a better understanding, and Bridgett has also been ignoring Amy when she talks to her, only giving her vague responses. Both Amy and Bridgett have stated that I shouldn’t have to be the middle man for their issues. The other day while working, I didn’t talk much to Bridgett because she was giving me the same treatment (vague responses), so I assumed she wanted space due to this conflict. She then messaged me later on why I didn’t speak to her and I mentioned her wanting space and she said “You should’ve asked if I wanted space, not assume”. I apologized.
The next day, Amy invited me to go out, and she posted a photo of us together. This outing was not planned, as it was a last second thing that Amy invited me out for, so I agreed. We both had fun, and bought a few things we needed, then went home for the night. Bridgett saw that post & messaged me how she didn’t feel included because she wasn’t invited. She said that the “least you could do was invite, even if I declined”, and me going out with Amy was “picking a side between the two of them”. I told Bridgett that I knew her and Amy weren’t on speaking terms, and that Amy invited me, so it wasn’t my decision to make.
Bridgett has continued to message me about her frustrations and saying that “the neutral thing to do when not picking sides is not going out if invited, only until things are resolved”. She’s also mentioned that Amy and I have hung out “multiple times” without her, to which I asked when those times were, but she wouldn’t answer my question. To rebuttal this, I told Bridgett that we’ve hung out multiple times without Amy, so I don’t get why she’s upset with me.
Lastly, I told Bridgett it was unfair of her to expect me not to hang out with Amy because she has an issue with her, not me, and that she’s using me as a way to release her frustration and roping me into this situation, instead of talking to Amy. Bridgett and Amy are not making an effort to fix things, and regardless of who started it, I shouldn’t have to feel at fault for hanging out with one or the other.
So, AITA?
Posted Jun 5, 2026, 5:01 AM UTC · locked