The good version of those stupid 44 rules of D&D

I know the original post was ages ago, but I recently picked back up DMing and I thought this would be a fun exercise to get me in the headspace again! Consider this your crash course in running a considerate D&D table!

1. Confirm your players boundaries before saying fuck it we ball

2. Treat every player with respect. If you don’t feel like someone at your table deserves it, they shouldn’t be at your table

3. Take as much interest in your players choices and characters as you expect them to take interest in yours

4. Make it interactive. This is a game, players need something to play

5. Have fun

6. Value real life relationships over in game ones. If you have the capacity to notice a characters feeling down, you should have the capacity to notice how the person playing them feels

7. Gas up your friends! Celebrate their successes

8. Over communicate. If something hurts your feelings or you are uncomfortable, voice it to your party

9. Prioritize people over rules. If someone is uncomfortable, it’s more important to keep them then to keep your exploding dice rule

10. Don’t discourage interruptions, accept them and bring your players back in when they happen

11. If someone’s behavior is consistently a problem, bring it up to them. If they don’t change, they might not be a good fit

12. Player characters come before NPC’s. If a cool moment is supposed to happen, think about if the players would rather do it. They are the main characters. The NPC’s are the supporting cast

13. Conflict is needed in every story, but keep it in game. If someone is at risk of crossing a line, talk about it

14. Don’t be afraid to pause the moment if it’s important. You can always get back into it

15. Scheduling is everyone’s burden. If someone is missing a lot, then reorient around them. It’s not their problem, it’s a problem you as a group solve together.

16. Schedule so you can play consistently even if it’s not a lot. An hour session every week is usually better than an 8 hour session once you never come back to

17. Let your players contribute to the narrative. It’s a cooperative story, not one persons story everyone else listens to

18. This isn’t Skyrim. Your party is just as important as you are. Don’t be an ass

19. Let other people have their moments. You can cooperate, but don’t butt in when it’s someone’s time to shine. If you want to be apart of the moment, then cheer them on

20. Mistakes aren’t negative, they are needed to learn. Failure can be more fun in a game than the successes sometimes

21. Don’t be afraid to challenge your players. Giving them strong opposition is a chance for them to push themselves to overcome

22. This is a game of choice and consequence, not analysis and punishment. There isn’t a right answer. Consequences are good and bad, but they are always fun.

23. Walk backs are ok. If you need to undo a turn or decision for the sake of everyone’s experience, just explain it to your players. They get it

24. Think about how you can be apart of someone else’s story, and how they fit into yours. I’m sure your story is great, but D&D is about us, not you. Us includes you, so you should include us

25. D&D is a shared experience, so avoid splitting up the party more than needed

26. Stop timing turns unless that’s what everyone wants. Not agrees to, wants

27. You should always go for total consensus, not majority vote. This isn’t a democracy guys, this is a friend group. Everyone should have a good time. Don’t think about it like majority rules, think of it like exclusion. It’s not so reasonable anymore, is it?

28. Don’t create settings that invalidate characters. I’m looking at you no-magic cities.

29. Think of mechanics as something you exploit, not a limit that caps your players. Mechanics should encourage your players to use their tools in new ways

30. There is no wrong way to play D&D. Not even meta gaming, or power leveling, or murder hoboing— it’s only a problem if it hurts anyone players experience, but the DM should be catering to everyone

31. Share the workload. If the DM is overworked, he’s going to quit or crash. If the note taker is undervalued, they won’t want to play let alone take notes. The group should support each other however possible

32. Track HP. Instead of ignoring the mechanics, use them to your advantage! If somebody is taking more damage than they should, focus on a different party member. If someone dies and roles a 1 on death saves, give the cleric a chance to heal. Running is always an option, so is talking. And most of all, you can always write in an item or excuse for why a player comes back from death. You might be surprised how interesting those moments can be

33. Always check with players before perma killing them. There is always a way back from death, so ask the dead player how they feel. Maybe they are ok with their characters demise, or maybe they aren’t. Don’t close the door, let the player choose to

34. Rules are yardstick sticks, not regulations. It’s fun to bend them. Remember the core of this game is choice and consequence. Let them bend the rules with consequences

35. Think about your setting as a world. You don’t need history, you need care. A 300 page lore document doesn’t mean much if your economy sells wheat by the millions but sandwiches are still a common delicacy. Think things through

36. Start small. Work your way up to the mega factions and geopolitical situations. Start with the guy who runs the tavern, the bandit whose wanted poster is hanging on the adventurers board. The receptionist you turn his head in to for a reward. Little things are often the most important pieces in a machine

37. “Mistakes” are often inspiration in disguise! If your economy is selling wheat for 2 million per pound of grain, then follow the logic. Bread becomes a luxury. Maybe rice, potato or noodles replace it as the most common dishes. Why did it happen? Maybe a powerful wizard used Wish to make it stop growing as a way to crush a country’s economy

38. Characters are king! (Or Queen) The plot didn’t just happen. People made choices, and those choices had consequences. The kings daughter is missing because someone wanted her gone, and they were able to do it because there were less guards because the king was trying to show trust. Or peacetime made people lazy. Everything comes back to choice and consequence, and choices are always made by people— aka characters

39. Don’t be rude to the people at the table. A lovable rogues banter, or a queen bee with attitude should keep their barbs in game. If even the in game jabs are making someone uncomfortable, please see rule 9

40. Ask the DM what game they want to run before you pile 18 home brews on their desk. Cooperation goes both ways

41. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. That being said, that step is a choice. Any attempt to get another person to step out should be an avoidable invitation, not a push.

42. Your D&D table should always be a safe place, where you and your players want to be

43. Don’t be a dick

44. Take time to smell the roses. Enjoy yourself! These moments are precious, and they are gone too quickly. These games are valuable, so treat them with care