[1196]The Library Ghost-The Sleep Over

Here is a finished psychological scene from a dark academia piece I am writing. I am looking for feedback on the psychological tension, the vocabulary, the pacing, and the dialogue.

My story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1P3QPfoFLY9m1lJShZnfQFTip2-pvy52YeKT5zsyx81Y/edit?usp=sharing

My previous critique: https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1tv01kx/1727_anomaly_in_eden_prologue/oq2d20s/