I escaped but my brother didn’t

TRIGGER WARNING

I’m not sure why I’m sharing this to be honest. Reading posts on this sub has helped me tremendously since I went no contact with both of my parents just over a month ago. I’m 24 as of March this year, and I grew up in a highly abusive household. My father is an angry man; and my mother enabled him because she came from a horrible childhood herself. She never protected myself or my brother. The abuse, physical and emotional, went on from the time I was 9 (the earliest incident I can remember) until I left the house at 19 to join the marine corps.

Everything came to a head when I was 16 and my brother was 14. He took his own life after my father berated him one last time. They did not hold a service for him and did not tell any extended family (they had cut everyone off) and they only found out because they accidentally found his obituary on Google, months later.

My parents moved us out of the state within 2 months of his death, and I fought for my survival every day until I left for bootcamp 2 years after. They tried to thwart me of course, they threatened to make me homeless and did tons of other things. Luckily I made it to bootcamp, other wise i was afraid i would end up like my brother if i never left.

Fast forward 5 years from bootcamp, i am out now and have a husband and a family. I have a young son. Up until recently, i kept a tumultuous, dying relationship with my parents because it was all I knew. After my brother died, the pressure to make them happy sat on my shoulders for years. Then they started picking on my husband. Insulting my parenting. Manipulating me and refusing to apologize for what they have done my entire life.

I finally went no contact this year on April 30. It hurt badly, and i feel like it’s my fault that things went this way (extreme conditioning), but I am alive. I am alive; my family is well; and my brother has seen some sort of justice for the first time because i told them I would not let it go.

To anyone on here who has gone no contact, felt guilty, isn’t no contact yet, feels like they owe it to their shitty family: you don’t owe them anything. They will eat you up if you let them. You are powerful. You can survive. You can do this.