Support for chemo

Hi everyone, I was a FT caregiver to my mother for many years, but she passed a year ago. I am still living with my nearly 80-year old father and nearly 50-year old older sister, and never went back to work, as I started having several health issues that I'm still trying to get figured it.

Then in April, my older sister was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. She had open abdominal surgery almost a month ago, and in a couple of weeks we have an appointment with an oncologist to discuss chemotherapy. Because of the type of cancer, they have already strongly recommended both chemo and radiation.

For a bit more background, I am child-free by choice, as I have never been the nurturing type. My mother wasn't, either, nor was her mother. My sister is neurodivergent, though never officially diagnosed. She is intelligent and very capable, but it's like her brain doesn't have a working starter? I don't know how to describe it. Basically she needs constant prompts and instructions. She has never moved away from home, and only ever worked in lower-level positions for family, as she is just not independent enough. She also doesn't drive.

In any case, I go to all appointments with her to make sure all information is given/received, and now after the surgery I help a bit with washing, etc. I also have to check that she's taking the right medication at the right time, because that has been an issue in the past.

But to be honest, I'm terrified of what chemo will bring. Of course I'm concerned for the well-being of my sister, but also the more practical aspects. I really struggle dealing with others' vomit and fecal matter. Of course I do what needs doing, but I'm retching all the way. My sister doesn't have a good sense of awareness when it comes to these things as it stands. She has mild urinary incontinence, and sometimes doesn't realize if she is leaking (despite wearing incontinence pads). We have protective covers for furniture, but if I'm washing some, and she decides to sit someplace that temporarily doesn't have a cover, she doesn't think to grab a cover from elsewhere. Then I get to clean up the furniture, because everyone else doesn't think it's a big deal, and a quick wipe with a tea towel would fix it...

Not that I would ever ask my father to do anything around the house. He works in the yard often, and I'm often concerned he is doing too much already, not realizing he is no longer young.

So one of my big concerns is, when it comes to chemo, her urine and other bodily fluids will be contaminated with the toxins for several days after treatment. I'm already so exhausted dealing with my own health and the stress of her cancer, and trying to support her as best I can, I just don't know how to deal with cleaning up even more. Everyone tells me how lucky she is to have me, and they are happy to hand me extra supplies for wound care to do at home (her incision opened up, which meant a number of visits to the ER, and now thankfully some wound care at a local clinic) and the appointment sheet, etc., but it's like nobody realizes I'm drowning myself. I'm afraid they'll see me as an able-bodied FT caregiver, and expect that we can do chemo treatment at home even. I know I'm putting the cart in front of the horse with that, but i know it is becoming more and more common, and I just wouldn't want those poisons in the house, let alone having to handle them (I've always been a bit clumsy, but now with feeling unwell, I'm dropping things left and right).

I know that sounds selfish, and I am desperately sorry that I feel this way. I had posted in the cancer sub asking on advice for how to handle this situation (making it clear I have every intention of doing what needs doing, but I need help! And it'snot as easy as hiring a cleaner to do it), and was told to "glove up and get to it" (I've never felt like my own existence has less value outside of being a caregiver to others) before my post got deleted for whatever reason, and I had also posted in another sub for my sister's particular cancer, but it got deleted there as well, because I don't have cancer myself.

So here I am, hoping those who may understand where I'm coming from a bit better, may have some advice to give me to help my family get through this.