New Cat Owner Anxiety

Hi! For some context, I’m a 21 year old with a part time job that takes up most of my day, and will eventually be not only working, but also staying on campus as a full time student for a lot of the day. I have a roommate who works odd hours and will be home more than I will, and I know logically that my anxiety is from a big change plus a new responsibility in my life. It doesn’t help that I have diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder.

All this to say, I have a kitten (I would’ve gotten two, but the apartment I live in doesn’t allow more than one cat for some reason). It wasn’t my first choice, as I was more set on adopting a cat that was at least a year old, but the cards fell the way they fell, and now I have an orange tabby mix, 2.3 pounds of sleep and play.

I just need someone to let me know this overwhelming anxiety will eventually go away. I’m worried he’ll chew on some wire or piece of trash I didn’t find when cleaning and cat-proofing my room. I’m worried that my schedule is too busy for a kitten his age—I assume to be 9 or 10 weeks—as I work a 9-5 on weekdays, plus take the metro, so I’m really out of the house from 8-6. I’m worried he’ll end up hating me and my roommate, or that he’ll get caught in something when we’re not around. I’m worried over the fact that I’m worrying, and it’s causing me to get nauseous and tired.

I had this happen to me when I first got the apartment I now live in—big mess, I literally unlocked the door, had a panic attack on the floor, called my mom to sob to her, and then got up to begin unpacking the car. I know this anxiety is because this decision was massive and life-altering not only for me but for my roommate and this kitten, too. I just don’t know how to ease my anxiety over this.

I got him yesterday and today have been intermittently leaving him alone just to take breaks, cook, clean, and buy him a collar. It’s helped me a little, knowing that even for an hour or two he can be left alone and ends up sleeping in the cat tower I have in my room. But it’s not helping long-term (I was just curled up on the couch staring at nothing because the anxiety is so overwhelming), and I don’t think I can handle a week of this anxiety, let alone if this continues for weeks.

Is there anything I can do to ease my anxiety? Like I said, logically, I know he’ll be fine, my room is cat-proofed, he won’t be alone in the apartment any longer than five hours a day due to my roommate’s work hours, and this is pretty much day two of hopefully years of him being with me. But I’m crying at my desk while he’s asleep, feeling nauseous and shaky from the idea of leaving him alone for even two hours, let alone the five that’ll happen on Monday.

I’m hoping that tomorrow I can extend his alone time by another hour or two, knowing he can be alone for three to four hours while being in the apartment, just not in the room, might help. I have to do laundry tomorrow, too, so I’ll have to be gone for some time anyways.

Is there anything else I can do? Or is this another situation of “tough it out for the next week or two, you’ll be fine.”

Sorry for such a long post that’s probably too long and full of rewritten statements and questions. Any advice will be greatly appreciated, or maybe some tough love would do me some good, I don’t know.