My boyfriend’s needy mom has no interests in my pregnancy and I don’t want her to visit us once the baby is here, am I being unreasonable?

I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant with what will be my boyfriend’s family’s first grandchild. My family lives in another country, and my boyfriend’s family lives about a 10-hour drive away.

Since finding out about the pregnancy, his mom has sent two congratulations texts and one message asking to visit. The week she suggested didn’t work for us, so I declined and suggested we’d need another time. She replied that was the only week she could do and she’d have to find another time. Since then, I haven’t heard anything from her. She calls and texts my boyfriend everyday and send him pictures about stupid thing all the time( her meals, her new house decor, and her selfie with his brother)

What bothers me isn’t just the lack of interest in the pregnancy. It’s the history behind it. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years, and visits with his family have often felt very one-sided. When we visit, there’s usually little food in the house, so we end up grocery shopping, cooking our own meals, and often paying when we go out. When his mom visits us, she wants to eat out all the meals, be driven everywhere, and have everyone adjust their schedules around her that my boyfriend has to take days off and we need clean after her. She won’t help with anything. However when my parents visit, they help with cooking and household tasks.

This is the first grandchild for his parents, maybe it is still early to share the registry, so far no one asks my boyfriend to share the baby registry. For my culture, we don’t share baby registry with family, and family with directly give money as the gift to the baby.

My fear is that once the baby arrives, she’ll suddenly want to visit frequently, but the visit will still involve us hosting, entertaining, driving her around, and taking care of her while we’re adjusting to life with a newborn. I don’t think I can take care of her right away after I get back home from hospital.

Part of me feels hurt that she doesn’t seem interested in the pregnancy, but another part of me wonders if I’m overreacting and reading too much into her silence. I also feel like I don’t want her to use baby as a new excuse for her visit and use my house as a resort.

Am I being unreasonable?