Is it bpd?/Fp situation

I've been thinking about it for a few years. At first I thought it was just puberty or whatever, but now I'm starting to think it's me. I posted something about my relationship on another subreddit and they told me to look into this.

Generally I'm very reactive, very aggresive, very jealous. I do silent treatment, I've threatened to kill myself to see if anyone would care. I've thought about harming myself just to see if people would understand how much they're hurting me. I've attempted once but in my mind it doesn't really count. I make decisions on impulse, my appearance has changed as much as it could, considering my budget. Idk what else to say.

The thing I posted on the other subreddit is that I'm on a break with my bf and idk what to do with myself. Today I saw he added back two of his old classmates, that I had made him remove from.instagram for no particular reason, just felt insecure. But now I'm going insane cuz I'm thinking about what if he adds more people that I'm actually uncomfortable with? For context, before the break he told me that he was planning on adding people he cut off for no reason. I'm just going insane thinking about the fact that he may have texted them to say that he had nothing personal with them, that he could add new people in the next few days. I was so hurt by this I smoked 3 cigarettes, even tho I was clean for a year. A year's progress went down the drain. I feel so hyperactive and I just want to talk to him and I want to control who he follows. It's going to be so disappointing if he adds someone else.

How do I deal with this? What is this?