I'm struggling with my supressed rage towards my family: rant (TW)

TW: gaslighting, psych ward, verbal and emotional abuse, self harm, depression

This is more of a rant, I guess.

I don't know what to do. I go to therapy, take medicine, but the anger is still there.

CONTEXT: I try to make a safe space in my room. I live with my abusive family. They sold my car and finding a well paying job is near impossible now. Saving is impossible as well at this point. Public transportation is so bad, I've been 2+ hours late to a job that's a 25 minute drive cuz the bus sometimes just doesn't arrive. It's a 1.5 hour commute by walking and bus. Saving is impossible. I can't afford uber, it's that bad.

My family intentionally scream through my locked door, knock on it for HOURS on and off, then go to my window, peek in (if I want sunlight), and knock and yell outside as well.

Boundaries don't work. That makes them louder. Ignoring them does the same thing.

My mom has walked into my room while I'm changing clothes, just to scream over me while I'm telling her to get out. Same thing when I'm in the bathroom.

ISSUE: I try to stay in my room (my only "safe" space), I try to save money with my current low income job (not working)...but I'm just always finding myself FURIOUS.

Even walking to work makes me furious. It reminds me of not just my car, but how they've done me wrong in the past AND current day.

My mom tried to start a screaming argument over a microwave door, which is something she's done before.

Before I could even think, I was screaming on the top of my lungs and threatening her to shut up or I'll go beserk.

My brother called the cops, then after talking with the cops, they sent me to a psych ward, due to me admitting I do self-harm to relieve stress.

My family blamed me for "suddenly acting possessed by the devil".

I don't know how to heal with constant traumatic events, both past, present, and future ones, no money, no well paying jobs, no space, etc

I'm always trying to leave, find a better stable job, keep my "peace", protect my cats (my family has history of killing pets with no remorse), etc

I'm...just exhausted