I never know what to say to friend. Been growing distant.

They’re an online friend that I’ve known for a long time. I’ve struggled with talking for most of my life and have had severe social anxiety for at least half my life, but it’s gotten a lot worse this past year. Idk if online friends even count. He’s the only person I could consider a friend. I’ve known him for over a decade now, and I care about him as a friend. Idk how to make or keep friends anymore though.

Idk what to talk about. I never know what to say or how to respond. And then if I do message him, I’m wondering if I’m bothering him or if he’s annoyed I’m still talking to him or I’m worried I message him too much. I’m overthinking the whole time because idk what he’s thinking or how he views me. Getting one word responses from him often doesn’t help.

I’m afraid I’m going to lose him. Haven’t talked to him in almost a month. Idk if it’s because he’s been busy, or it’s because I can barely ever keep a conversation going anymore, or he doesn’t see me as a friend or care about me much. Maybe it’s all of those reasons. I’d ask him how he feels about me, but I have no idea how to word that or if that’d be weird.

I want to be able to talk to him more. We used to be closer, but it hasn’t felt that way in a few years. Feeling even more distant now. Really don’t know what to do. What do I talk about? What do I do?