I want my fiancé to cheat on me so I have an excuse to try dick

I’m 30, straight, and never tried cock. I’m getting married this month to an amazing woman who happens to be asexual but heteroromantic. I’m alright with that, we very much love each other. But for years I’ve been jerking off to bi, sissy, and gay porn. It’s to the extent that sometimes I think I WOULD feel more “right,” as a transitioned woman, not just in a sissy sex way, but that’s besides the point.

I could never just go out and cheat. But god I wish she’d give me a reason, or even just be open enough to trying sissy stuff. I want to be feminine and then get fucked by a hot dominant guy and also suck his cock while I leak into some lace panties. I’m looking forward to marrying her, it just sucks being so fucking curious about it all. I just want to get dressed up so I can get dicked down as a sissy 😩