I'm slowly but surely reducing into a SLOB, I can't live happily. And I'm a terrible person.

I want death to come to me, I'm only fucking THIRTEEN. It's killing me, Like has been terrible. Everyone I'm no longer friends with is out to get me. And my anxiety is spiking up, I don't even think anyone in my life truly cares for what I feel. I have so much in my mind. So much I wish I had the guts to say, My school is so useless - They've never given me proper support and keep enabling those who harm me. I just wanna commit suicide, I want to start vaping or smoking I just want something to take the event off - My life can't get much worse then it's already going. Nobody feels as if I'm WORTH it anymore. I'm a disgusting slob who does nothing but sit in their godamn room, I am AWFUL - I've made too many mistakes and have lived a life I am NOT proud of.  I relapsed on self harm after being clean for AGES, My school is out to get me. I can't even enjoy myself without knowing life will bite me in the ASS sooner or later. everyone thinks I'm an ignorant, annoying PRICK who has nothing left to lose, And they're right. I DO nothing left to lose. I WISH I wasn't here anymore. I don't feel good about my mentality and my physical appearance. I'm a lazy weirdo. I just can't live anymore. Everyone leaves me. I'm a nobody with a bad reputation. And I'll never be a truly good person.  All my ex friends post stuff about me. dragging my name through the MUD. I don't want this anymore.