Hate I put myself through it

I was in a relationship for 9 months with a woman I met at work. We went through a lot together — dates, traveling, even ring shopping — but it was rocky. She had a lot going on personally and could be difficult at times, and I had my own things to work on too. I went to therapy and did the work on myself.

When she ended things, the breakup wasn’t clean. We kept talking, kept doing relationship things, and she came back saying she wanted to try again — then went cold a week later. The back and forth went on for months. There was a pregnancy scare, other guys, she even contracted an STI from someone else.

Eventually I had to force myself to let go. But even after I did, I watched her move on, start a new relationship, post about her bipolar disorder affecting her relationships, and mourn someone else publicly — all while wearing clothes and jewelry I bought her. She never took accountability with me directly, but she’ll post about it online.

The new guy she got with didn’t last either. Now I’m sitting with the feeling of being completely overlooked after everything I gave — financially, emotionally, physically. I supported her in every way and feel like I got nothing in return. I’m trying to make sense of it all and move forward but it’s been heavy.