Reminiscing the past is such a turn on.

Saturday night, a breather. I drink alone and I drink in peace. I don't go out to party, I've never been to clubs. That's not my space to be. A Cigarette in my hands, the smoke roasting my nail bed ever so slowly. My mind is buzzed and the music has become white noise now. I can dream with my eyes open.

I see my sexcapades. That one time I sucked on my GF titties on a private beach. Oh it was fun. Or that one time I got lucky with a nurse. Thinking of it still makes me hard. I miss the BJs I got in the back of the cab with another ex. I miss the finger foreplay under the desk and the hanky panky in the movie theatre. I once had a full on BJ in H&M trial room. That's another story to tell. I miss that one date where she put her hands on my thighs and started feeling for my dick, I wish I had done better that night. And I also think about the hints I was too naive to understand. Still am.

I've done so much out of ordinary and I look forward to what is to come. I keep getting wilder, kinkier.

Reminiscing the past, all the fun stuff I was part of, all my crushes, all the flirting I did. I, now, have a carnal outlook to it. It gets my blood flowing and a mental foreplay before I actually watch porn. And close my eyes. And imagine again.