Just diagnosed with HPV and feels conflicted about telling my wife and a coworker

Just diagnosed with HPV and feel conflicted in telling my wife and a coworker i slept with

Today, I decided to see a dermatologist, and I was diagnosed with genital warts. For a while, I assumed it was something else, but apparently, it is not.

I have been married for 3 years. Unfortunately, I have not been faithful. I had one encounter overseas. I also had one encounter with a coworker two weeks ago.

The hardest part is that my wife is a very kind and sweet person, and she does not deserve this, and she’s 8 months pregnant. our marriage has lacked sexual chemistry, although I know that does not justify what I did.

I am now in a very difficult position. I told my wife that I had a pimple-like bump on my penis, that I got it checked, and that I had cryotherapy today. I also told her I will need follow-up treatment to remove it. However, I did not tell her that it is HPV.

I know most people would advise me to be honest with her, but I genuinely fear the consequences. Knowing my wife, I do not think she would be able to handle the idea of cheating. It could lead to separation, or it could seriously affect her mental health. Either way, I know our relationship would never be the same.

There is also the coworker I had a one time encounter with. We both agreed it was a one time thing, but now that I know about the HPV diagnosis, I feel conflicted. I know I should tell her, but I also fear how it would affect her mentally. I believe she would overthink it, and it could harm her emotional well-being and possibly affect her work.

I understand that not telling them about the HPV is wrong. At the same time, knowing that it has already happened and there is no going back, I keep thinking about the emotional impact that telling them could have on both of them, even if neither of them ever develops symptoms. Because of that, part of me feels it may be best to hold on to the hope that no one is affected, focus on treating it, and carry the guilt and consequences myself.

Honestly, I am praying and hoping that neither of them develops anything. So far, my wife has not shown any symptoms, and I hope it stays that way.

The best outcome I can hope for is that no one is affected, that I complete treatment for the genital warts, and that the HPV eventually clears from my system.