Do I skip the wedding of a close friend who is also friends with an abusive ex?

I’ve been close friends Amy for over ten years. We met when I was dating John. He was emotionally abusive according to my therapist at the time. The relationship ended very painfully although it was almost a decade ago, so I rarely thought about it until this situation came up. At the time, I was very careful not to talk bad about my ex to Amy because they were also friends.

Amy and I only spoke about John twice after the breakup:

A few years after the breakup Amy told me that her and John‘s friend group had some drama and she was no longer in contact with John.

And then a few years after that Amy and I had a heart to heart about previous unhealthy relationships we’d been in and I opened up to her about how difficult my past relationship was.

Amy is about to get married. I’m a bridesmaid. I found out unexpectedly that not only are Amy and John friends again (and have been for years) but also John will be at Amys wedding.

I genuinely never expected to see John ever again and the thought of being in the same space is making me so anxious. I dont want to cause any problems for Amy, who is one of my closest friends, but im scared to be in the same space as John and I’m hurt that Amy didn’t mention they were friends again (she actually didn’t even tell me he’d be there until I asked directly after hearing her mention him for the first time in years).

I’m working on this in therapy and hoping I can get to a place where I can attend the wedding without feeling anxious, but it’s at the end of July and so far I don’t know if I can do it. There’s nothing specific I’m worried John will say or do (I doubt we will interact directly at all) but just the thought of being in the same room as him makes me feel like I want to run away.