How to do middle ground contact/ decide whether no contact is better?

I grew up enmeshed with my parents but it worked reasonably well until I became a teenager and developed other interests. Suddenly love became conditional and my self esteem and ability to feel like I can individuate has been really bad as a result.

I was reflecting recently and I have developed a lot of ideas about life/ been repeatedly told things that I have found really hard to unlearn even though I have moved out and am living independently. Some examples include: my family dog never loved me, the point of life is to prioritise work and freedom above everything, the 9-5 is a scam (or not ever as good as what my family can provide financially), wearing makeup and fancy clothes are for girls without personality, social media is performative and for people who are inherently deceptive (even though I used to want to work within some kind of creative industry I feel like I can have no online footprint as a result), I attract abusive relationships, crying is performative and emotions should not be expressed in public, you should never depend on or care about people more than you depend on or care about family, I have no ideas of my own and merely copy others, hobbies are generally for people who don’t work hard enough, city life is for people who are afraid of nature and being alone. I still do a lot of hobbies etc. I grew up doing though and I love them I just feel still caged by these specific ideas.

I am going to be moving to living completely by myself in July now I can afford it and can finally move all my stuff out of my family home (it didn’t feel right to in a flat share). My main concern with this though is I won’t have a clear person who can be an emergency contact if I do this. I also feel incredibly guilty and selfish. I would love any advice on this/ maybe ways to do a middle ground of contact while feeling safe to individuate. They have also gotten in the middle of a couple of friendships as I’ve moved away asking people I know for updates if I’m not in touch so I feel like there is no longer a safe space there. I am aware I may just need more therapy and feel I probably will be able to reopen the relationship again when I feel more confident about my own stability but at the moment I still get triggered by a lot and don’t know anyone who really relates.