I feel stressed about my life right now. (Open for advice)

For context

I'm a teenager who will be getting into college soon but I still don't have anything I want to study in.

I recently got into an argument with my mom about my studies. I know I'm not that motivated about studying and I fail to do school activities. I have always hated school but my grades are not that bad and I have been able to get into famous schools without problems.

I don't have any dreams or goals in the future and it's really stressful when my mom is bashing me for it. It's worst when I live with my mom and I don't have anyone to talk to. I have lived far from the rest my family since I was a kid and my dad has been working overseas since before I was born so I'm pretty distant from them. The only person I have is my mom and my relationship with her has gotten worse since I came back from boarding school. She always says to get a stable job and is always criticising my studies. I understand her but I'm so burnt out and I always feel so useless when my grades are lower than my friends and I don't have the skills to do activities in my school. I also can't play any instruments or sports so basically I can do nothing right. I don't even really have hobbies I enjoy, I used to love drawing, reading and many other stuff but I don't find joy in doing them anymore. All I do now is doomscrolling, watching YouTube and playing games. Sometimes I don't even enjoy playing games anymore. I have also been stuck sleeping in the same room with her and refuses to give me a separate room.

I go to school everyday and see people with goals and dreams. I really envy them since the major I'm planning to get in is just the major my friend wants to get in. I've felt like this for 5-6 years, I stopped having goals since then. I've never been able to answer the question of 'What do you want to be when you grow up' I always thought it wasn't a big deal that I didn't have a clear path for my future if I still at least had something to study.

Until when I got into an argument with my mom. She said I should just stop studying all together and go work if I don't have any dreams and she would stop supporting me. I already told her that I'm not really happy right now and I need space I don't know if I said it wrong or something but she got so angry at me and started questioning me about why I wasn't happy when my they were providing everything for me. It's so frustrating that I can't express my emotions freely. I almost went to therapy one time but the clinic was kinda bad and my mom was pressuring me to tell her why I needed therapy so I didn't want to go anymore and I don't have the courage to tell her again since she was the reason I wanted to talk to a therapist. She's always saying that my dad is stressed and question me whenever I say I'm stressed too as if school isn't stressful in Asia.

I feel so empty and sad right now I don't know how to describe my feelings but I want to improve since my mom is leaving for a while and I still want a life where people can truly see that I'm not just a loser.