Intrusive thoughts or am I weird?

the thing is, tonight my family member was jokingly pulling his underwear off to show his butt, then immediately pulled it on, doing so I caught a glimpse of his penis, fast. now, in my family there’s no shame so we’re chill but my thoughts were “oh dick looks nice” “I like dick” “his dick looked nice” which I felt immediately disgusted by because I do NOT think about that. I do NOT desire his penis in any way and it scares me. What worries me the most is that I watch porn and I don’t have a sexual life, and I’m afraid it could be related, that maybe It affects those thoughts. I have depression and anxiety symptoms, not diagnosed but my therapists told me so and my mental health is not good, watching porn helps me to temporarily relieve the sexual stress but im sure it’s not good for me. I don’t sleep much even if I sleep all day, I go to sleep in the early morning from 5 to 10 am. I don’t have a job and I don’t study, im home all day, everyday. I know it sounds obvious but it still scares me. (And no, I’m not proud of my situation)

addition: when he did it before having those thoughts I was thinking “no! what’s he doing” “hey! cover up” then the dark sexual thoughts came, all in a matter of seconds. I also was thinking about liking dick in general but I don’t want it to be linked with my family member, it’s gross and it’s not me at all. It gives me anxiety. so yeah I had lots of different directed thoughts and I don’t understand which are true and which not. if I had these about a random guy I wouldn’t feel guilty and I would let it pass, maybe not even consider it as an intrusive thought but with my family member I do because I do NOT want that. so which is true?