Feel so guilty for breaking up with him because I still love him even though I know I had to do it

It isn’t an easy decision at all, I love him more than anything, he’s my baby, my best friend. But I’m no longer happy if I listen to my gut. I’ve tried and tried to communicate, to express myself during hard times to try and bring us closer together but he interprets it as an attack always and gets defensive and I end up regretting saying anything at all. I’m so scared and feel so guilty, I know he’s depressed and I know how often he’s told me I’m the only thing that brings him any sort of happiness. But part of me feels like I need to be selfish - I’ve tried to be there for him through it all, he pushes it away, he doesn’t want to help himself, he’d rather sit and wallow in his misery and drink until he’s numb. I love life, I find joy in the small things, and it became harder and harder to have to constantly shrink myself and bring myself down to where he was. But I don’t understand how I can say I love him and still feel like I can’t stay. I know he loves me deeply but I just don’t believe that’s enough. I can’t live with someone who just survives. He works 60-70 hour weeks and I feel like I’m always left with just scraps of time and attention because he’s understandably always exhausted. There have been multiple occasions where I’ve clearly explained what would make me feel loved and valued, but very little changes. Sometimes it’s not even big things. For example, he used to leave me little notes at the start of our relationship. I’ve told him multiple times how meaningful those were and that I’d love him to do it again. He always said he would, but never did. I just started to feel like I was carrying all of the emotional weight in the relationship and still feeling unheard. I used to get so excited thinking about our future together but recently I just started feeling doubt and uncertainty when I looked ahead, the thought that staying with him just because I loved him would require me sacrificing so much of who I am and how I see and experience the world. I feel like an awful person, I know how much pain he carries in his life and how hard this breakup will hit him. But I’ve just realised two people can love each other and still be unable to give each other what they need. But I wanted it to be him, this is my first proper relationship, we broke up on our 2 year anniversary. It feels wrong to give up on somebody but I can’t ignore the gut feeling anymore.