Advice Column

Letters to the advice columnist in a svedish magazine.

Dear Svea,

My Husband and I are wondering the proper etiquette for an upcoming event. We decided to give our son a surprise penectomy for his upcoming 18th birthday.

The problem is we don’t know the way to announce it. Do we send out announcements before the big event, even though it will be just him and a few close friends and family, or do we wait until after his penis is cut off for the announcement. Also, we’re not sure how to word the announcement.

Finally, would it be tacky to put the announcement in the local paper?

Signed, A Perplexed Mother.

Dear Perplexed,

Oh, my! What a lucky young man! You must be very proud parents.

You do not announce the event before, unless you are sending out invitations.

If you send an invitation, it would read:

Mr. & Mrs. John Doe request your presence at the penectomy of their son, Jack Doe, at (time) on (Day & Date) at (Location).

Please RSVP to Mr. & Mrs. Doe by (Date).

What you need to send is an announcement, after the big event. You send it to everyone who knows him or you. And yes, you should put it in the papers.

The announcement should read as follows:

Mr. & Mrs. John Doe wish to announce the Penectomy of their son, Jack Doe.

The penectomy took place on (insert date and time) at (location).

Guests present were (Names)

A nice touch would be to publish an after photo of your son. I would recommend a head-to-toe photo of him seated in thights, slightly reclined with his legs spread a bit, to show-off his new flat line. Of course he will be smiling a big smile to show how happy he is to have had this done. Congratulations and Best of luck to you,

Svea