jealous of the people around me

i only have one friend, and she is a student. She has other friends in uni, works and has been with her boyfriend since high school. My sister married her boyfriend (of 7+ years) at 24 after having a kid with him at 20. My brother is always out with his friends (last summer, he went on a 3-week vacation with them).

And I'm just here. Never had a boyfriend. Going out alone to restaurants and movies. Sleeping in and working late shifts. Even my manager was like "you didn't do anything in those two days of?? i went to the lake and had a great time" . like ok karen, glad you have friends.

I usually enjoy my time alone, especially to the movies, but then i get home, and it hits me. That was miserable, no one to talk about the movie I just watched, just straight up earbuds in and going back home. Or when I want to eat out, earbuds in and some documentary instead of a real person that i can talk to.

i am always out of the house since i don't really like my family (long story, but it's dysfunctional), so almost all the time i get out of the house very early, I have breakfast alone, I study alone, I have lunch alone. damn, even at work i'm the only one scheduled for the shift. my only friend has her own things to do as well, and lately i feel like i have been too clingy.

i'm just so jealous of them having such caring friends and loving boyfriends/husbands. You know, why not me?