What were y’alls teen years like?

Besides like dysphoria and going through the wrong puberty, i mean like socially. i wish i had the gay bestie experience cuz that’s like the closest you can have to female socialization. instead i had the bullied outcast queer kid experience who was called a fag a lot of the time. at least it was mainly verbal bullying. my mom forced me to do sports ofc cuz of my height and yeah that sucked when i was on the basketball team with who my teammates were…many of the bullies in my batch played basketball and they were popular with the girls which honestly made me misogynistic towards those girls cuz the very same guys they were drawn to were bullying me…i wouldn’t really say that i was socialized at all really, cuz i was more or less an outcast. girls didn’t really wanna have anything to do with me cuz they mistook me wanting to connect with them with me being attracted to them. tbf i kinda had the dilemma of “do i want to be her or be with her?” with a lot of girls growing up. i’m certain now that in all of those cases i just wanted to be them and skinwalk them. i was always attracted to guys but like it was something i was ashamed about cuz really homophobic society lol so i was never open about it. i used to think of girls who were dating or attracted to spoiled rich guys as “golddiggers”, which is ironic considering that i’m a “golddigger” myself