What do I do instead of hurt myself if I am a bad person, I need to know.

Just continue feeling guilt if that ever happens? Do I deserve to feel awful about myself?

Why shouldn't I if someone hates me if maybe even people with similar problems that I do also hate me, if I feel alone and can't take the self loathing.

I rather die than be a bad person or invalid and I rather be a good person than die.

I watched a video from a therapist that this is ruminating and shame and that these thoughts are false but it hurts, sometimes physically as I get stomach aches from anxiety.