A perfect storm triggered hypomania

I have been mostly stable since last year and it's been great but then my insomnia (unrelated to my bipolar) got really bad last weekend and I only slept 3-4 hours over two days and was totally miserable. I was also under a lot of stress a week ago. Then also I am hyperfixating on a new TV show and hyperfixations alone have triggered hypomania for me. So I have been hypo all week and hoping I don't crash. :(

I was one of those bipolars who craved hypomania but after the disaster of an episode last year I am past that and really wish this would end so I can be stable. I went through months long episodes last spring and summer and am so scared it's gonna happen again. I DON'T WANT THIS. And I was just in my psychiatrist's office on Monday saying I was stable. I started feeling hypomanic a few hours after that appointment ffs. I was sleep deprived on that day too then I went hypomanic and the exhaustion disappeared. I have been sleeping mostly normally though so that's good.

Anyways fuck bipolar disorder.