Brought to tears over my mania

I lost my son to su#cide four years ago, to cope I ate a lot, cried a lot and began crafting jewelry and painting smoking pipes for the first year of his passing. I stored them away, and decided today to go thru what I made, I have over 200 necklaces and 100 bracelets and 120 painted smoking pipes..

I AM EMBARRASSED and upset that no one stopped me, no one saw just how lost I guess I was, even myself! Is that a mania? Does anyone else craft their pain away? Should I be embarrassed?

Even tho it's sad to look at it, I'm not sure if it's a memory bringing the pain back or if I am crying because I went crazy crafting?

Normal?