Just feel out of control of my life

I was just having an off day on my day off, didn’t feel right the whole day and then I just started building a model kit and I finished it most of it. Felt pretty proud and messed with it a litte, fast forward like 2 hours and I go to pick it back up to add on some stuff and I lose a part and I spent maybe 3 hours looking for that part. It wasn’t even an important piece, something only I would notice yet it just bugged me and when I finally gave up and sat on my chair I just couldn’t help to think of how helpless I am. Sounds weird but I just couldn’t stop looking for it, at a point i was just moving shit around out of anger not even trying to find it, it bugged me so hard and I just started spiralling from there.

I know it just sounds weird but I just started recalling all the things I had no control over, getting pushed up to a new position I didn’t want with responsibilities I didn’t want, pressure from my school and how helpless I felt studying for my exams. I just felt like everything I do is just a decided outcome destined for failure. Kept thinking of a situationship I had that no matter how hard I tried it couldn’t work and I just kept thinking about that till I ended up here. Theres more stuff I thought about while sitting on this chair but all it amounts to is me just never seeming to do enough to make it work and right if you can understand that. Sorry for the rambles and goodnight/morning to anyone who reads this.