Support Group Me Please

Hello so I am the mother of 3 Young Men, 21, 20 and 5. My oldest was born with Hydrocephalus, later found out he also has had epilepsy, as well as Autism.

I was married but ended up divorced due to the strain of feeling imprisoned together at home took a toll on our marriage as well as financial burdens and other things. didnt want to but still dont think it was the best decision to this day but hey I was young you live and learn right!

Well 16 years later i would have their little brother and at the age of 3 found out he was Autistic as well, 3 months after finding out that I myself am ADHD (amongst my depression, anxiety, ptsd, abcdefg etc.)

I cry everyday. I also pray all day everyday. I also still make sure i still read books, play, tickle, blow bubbles, go to the park etc. I have given up my entire life and any desire for any hopes and dreams. I used to be a standup comedian, podcast host, make custom jewelry and a natural hairstylist, I was even once a corporate worker, I let it all go to focus soley on my baby and his well being (his father isnt around like the oldest. So its just me and him all day! My middle so is signed up as caregiver for both since he turned 18 but i feel like ive only driven him crazier in the last 2 years.

Any support groups out there? Therapy, medicine, weed, shopping, sex, praying, scrolling this phone, asking for help, getting my nails toes eybrows and lashes done non of its working i find myself lying around all day doing nothing outside of the continual care for my son. I conscinsously try to choose joy. I am being tested. Its Hard. Help me Please!