Hey everyone,

So about 36 hours ago now I had (not major, but moderate) surgery. Guys, I'm not joking when I say I've been talking about this incessantly for weeks. Like, an annoying amount. I've been so so anxious and I haven't been able to keep it contained, as this surgery is known for an incredibly painful recovery in adults. 

I just feel like I try so very hard for all of these people. I've got friends in different friend groups, ones I've known since middle school and ones I just met a year ago but am very close to and we've been through a lot together. Also a couple of medium-friends that were at my house two days before when I kept mentioning it was my last day of drinking and smoking and I'm ANXIOUS, but they also didn't remember. We've known each other for years.

I've helped these people a lot. I don't normally say shit like this, but I am a good fucking friend. When half these people got into a car crash in January, I was at the hospital every single day. I let them stay at my house. I drove them everywhere. I bought them food. I washed my best friend's hair with a bowl and a plastic cup because she couldn't get her sutures wet. Another friend who wasn't in the crash used to text and call me all the time to get a little bit of relief for his severe depression, and I always comfort him no matter what I'm doing or what I'm missing out on to do so. A month or two ago he got a new girlfriend and stopped texting, although we talked three days before the surgery, and he knew too. All of a sudden he's incapable of texting me anymore.

Not that I'm comparing this surgery to a car crash; it's absolutely not, but I didn't expect anything more than a text, and I couldn't even get that. A couple family members and my boyfriend have been here for me, which I am so incredibly grateful for, but I've done so much for all of my friends and never asked for anything in return. I didn't even accept gas or food money when they offered to pay it back.

Also, I had to go to the ER earlier today for complications that had already arisen. This all sucks ass and I'm so pissed 

Not one friend remembered my surgery