My perception of reality has shifted need help grounding or guiding myself

I find that my eyes have been opened and I wish to blink but I cannot unsee what was been seen?!? I fear there is no going back i have tested my reality seen it wain to my will and I've seen the vacuum of space I've left crash back in I try willful intent and see what happens. I need help for I can out weigh all the wills I haven't thus far. Looking for a mentor or someone who's an old hat I may be 36 but I fear being newly awakened to this I am far to untamed to be doing this