My first solo and first raw dog rave

I (27M) have been attending electronic music events for the past ~13 years. Today was the first time I ever went to event completely solo and also the first time ever raw dogging (no drinks, drugs, not even bathroom or water lol).

The rave in question was Cristoph at Sunnyside pavillion. I usually attend such events with my lovely partner in crime (24F) but she was away this weekend for a work trip. I was debating last minute whether I should go alone. I chose this event for the venue tbh, not even the biggest fan of Cristoph (at least before this, he was really good now I'm a big fan lol). That might sound weird but I've been in the scene long enough to enjoy any sort of sub-genre, even ones I haven't heard before. I just wanted to dance and vibe.

So yeah I was kind of nervous leading up to going. But I wanted to try out this whole solo rave experience. I also signed up for radiate because I wanted to try making friends on my own, meeting a new people with an open heart.

I wasn't planning on raw dogging. I actually usually struggle to get through a rave without some sort of substance, usually Molly, alcohol or weed. Other things too, in small and safe doses of course. So I rolled up 3 joints and packed them in a doob tube and made my way there for 8pm when cristoph was supposed to start.

From there I got into the crowd and just started giving I imagined linking up with radiate crew and smoking some weed later but none of those things happened. I was just living free, being myself. It was liberating honestly too let loose and express myself, dancing, marching, stepping, moving my arms. Also just 3 hours straight, not thinking about any sort of social situations.

I think naturally one has a little animosity being alone in crowd. Those thoughts creep into your head, wondering if someone is talking about you, hitting on you or thinks you are hitting on them. Those thoughts in my head were loud at the beginning but softened throughout the set along with a little mindfulness. It's a practice to let go of social inhibitions I think, either it takes some mindfulness or a substance imo.

Ive always strived to be a good dancer. I think we all do a little bit, but more oft than not we see in the crowd a lot of people are contained. Not fully expressing themselves. Thinking about those thoughts, what they look like from the outside, containing themselves. Ironically I think dancing well (at least in a rave) is just about letting go, moving your body and not thinking about how it looks. Just doing it, with the beat.

Cristoph was absolutely amazing, I didn't talk to a single person just danced my butt off the whole night. Got a good workout in and now I'm home at a reasonable time and not gonna wake up with a headache tomorrow.

I don't think this experience means I'm going sober and letting go of party favors / alcohol. But it's validating to have this transcendent experience without it for once. I love electronic music, it's just such a raw expression of human community and expression.

Live for the rave.