I ‘26F’ have a gf ‘23F’ whos “hall pass” would be her abusive ex (26F) & writing a book should her!!! I made some comments i regret… idk what to do!!!

I ‘26f’ have a gf ‘23f’ of 6 months. Whos WRITING A BOOK about her ex ‘26f’ 1 of our first dates, she told me she understood the courtesy not to talk about ur ex w/ who ur dating. But, if we got serious, it was important to her she be able to bc it was “very traumatic.” She said she’d rather process it w/ her partner than suppress it. & also bc the book she says is to spread awareness on narcissistic abuse.
She’s not exaggerating. Her ex is genuinely bad news. addict, pimp, abuser, DV and false imprisonment charges, etc. My GF isn’t her only victim. We’re in recovery & in our community it’s honestly hard to find someone who hasn’t heard of this woman.
I’ve heard everything. Voice memos. Texts. Videos. Stories that make ur stomach turn. They grew up in the same complex & we’re together for 11 years. Remember they’re current ages? It’s really sad. She was this girls little bitch her whole life. She got cheated on more times than most people have bodies. Isolated. Humiliated. Manipulated. & she stayed bc she “felt special.”
Part of my insecurity is that they were a ridiculously hot couple. B4 we got clean my friends & I would see them out & they were always the hottest people in the room. The most confident gorgeous couple ive ever seen…
My gfs name is tattooed on the exs neck, & my gf has hers on her bikini line. we cant be intimate without me seeing it. Worse she has “doll” (what her ex called her) on the back of her neck. Shes branded like property.
Theres 2 things I heard I can’t get out of my head.
1 recording, her ex is screaming at a guy for touching my GF & says, “You contaminated the most precious thing I own.”
In another she says, “I cheat bc I always need 2 in my life. 1 bitch to abuse the fuck out of & 1 to be my little princess.”
My GF asks, “Which am I?”
her ex answers, “Both Don’t be fucking stupid. Ur my doll.”
My GF has made comments that hurt me deep.
Like “if sex wasn’t a thing I would’ve left long ago.” “Nothing gave me ego like being hers.” Etc.
Anyways, we were joking about hall passes. I expected a celebrity. Instead she immediately says her ex’s name.
I asked why, & started an hour-long trauma dump. The main thing I took away was she liked feeling owned.
I snapped.
After everything I’ve listened to. the crying. the stories about how she took her life. After building a sober, stable life away from her. You’d sleep w/ the person who did all of that?
I said she had Stockholm syndrome & was perfect for her ex.
What I meant was that her obsession is what made her a perfect victim. She heard she deserved it.
she’s devastated. It’s been 2 weeks & I haven’t heard a word about her ex or her book.
I’m proud of her for leaving. But the more I hear about them, the less I understand why she stayed, & I cant wrap my head around why she’d hypothetically sleep w/ the person who destroyed her life.
we couldn’t be more different. Im a lover peaceful Gentle. I fear she wants chaos & to be fucked like thats all shes worth. She was right about there being a courtesy of not talking about ur ex w/ ur partner. I wish I didn’t agree to put that courtesy aside. I don’t want her to go back to her, but part of me thinks she will & I fear my comments may have pushed her there.
I don’t want to leave. I’m trauma informed and I know how big of it a deal it is She’s free now. Aside from this She’s perfect. We are perfect. I cant keep feeling second to the shittiest person most people would ever meet.