Doormat.

I did it again. I fell in love with another dishonest person. You've been lying and hiding things from me for months now. You let me beg like a fucking dog for a chance at a relationship with you. You agreed, and a few days later I had second thoughts because something felt wrong. Something was wrong. You were running around for a week with some guy from your past, and when I brought up these second thoughts, you said that I wanted to keep you emotionally close, but I didn't want to keep you. No shit, no human being with an ounce of self respect would want to keep someone who consistently lies, much less a person who agrees to try commitment, only to then go spend a week with a fuck buddy from their past. It's honestly fucking pathetic of both of us at this point. You don't want commitment? Cool, I've learned my lesson, meaningful relationships that are more than sex and shitty small talk just aren't in the cards for me. I'm not a loveable person, in fact I don't feel like a human being at all anymore, it's cool. I'm just not good enough, and I don't believe that I ever will be. Just like you believe you'll never want a committed relationship with me. I don't know if I'll survive much longer, honestly I don't want to anymore. What's the fucking point? I don't want to live to spite someone, or as a fuck you to people that have done me wrong. It's a form of revenge, and revenge is inevitably a fools game for the weak. You can be petty and vengeful, maybe I should've seen that for what it is, that's my fault. Hopefully I won't wake up tomorrow, or maybe I will, and all of this bullshit will have just been a nightmare.

Anyways, for those who have read this pathetic ramble,In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.