Regret

I'm sober for 3 yrs. The realization that these scars are forever with my body now. I know there wasn't anything to have prevented this. I hate that it will always remind me of the horrible time I went through and that it will always carry with me as a form on my body. I will never have the clean body I had before. The trauma I endured in the past feels disgusting to me and I hate being reminded of it by the scars. When I'm reminded of it, I get triggered into ideation. Where it's I wish I was gone before everything happened. But now it's at what cost.