I am 34F engaged to a 44M and I am cancelling our wedding due to an affair baby.

I am a (34F) and my fiancé (44M) whom I am engaged to and have been with for 4 years cheated last year with his ex and she got pregnant. Initially when I found out about this I wanted to leave the relationship but after some counselling I decided to work things out although my heart was never really certain if I could get over the cheating. It was a one time thing and he tried to be transparent going through the messages and everything that happened etc. This ex was someone who he was dating before we met.

What really is quite challenging for me is that she got pregnant and he kept telling her it was a mistake blah blah and she shouldn’t keep the baby. But she decided to have the baby and the baby was born 3 weeks ago. My fiancé and I due to get married in 3 months from now. But unfortunately after this news I have told him I am not sure I can even go ahead with the wedding. I can’t see having this woman and child as part of my life going forward and I don’t want him to not be a responsible father to his son etc but as long as he has contact with this woman I literally find it so painful. He has asked me to set out how we can move forward, discuss our boundaries with this woman, how regular he can see his child etc and how much involvement we will have. I find it all to be easier sad than done because I can’t get my head around the cheating and worst of all now now this. He says he hates the situation and everything that came with it but he also feels terrible to not be involved in his child’s life. I honestly think that’s the best thing to do because I wouldn’t even want to be with someone who neglects their child’s life. Although I am so angry at the mother and him for the turmoil this has brought onto our lives.

We already have a child whom we both love so dearly and my heart breaks for her as I make this decision to leave the relationship and call off the wedding. However, I value my peace of mind and I feel this child from this woman will always be a reminder of the pain that was caused.

To those that left a relationship / marriage etc how did you easily start over and did you ever regret ever leaving the relationship?