I am very much in stress! I am the problem for anything! All its my fault I want to vent in there though I know its my fault. I am getting this off my chest.

I am getting this off my chest. Since Childhood , whatever I remember or when nostalgia hits me through a song even when I remember a good thing that happened ( i sometimes do i have less memory power for my childhood , i can count 1-2 occurences of being happy i guess) also somehow assosicated with my parents fighting and I used to be guilty many a time I used to be culprit, maybe I wanted something like food , mostly i didnt use to want I used to ask if I can get the food, then there used to be a fight not always but sometimes. Whatever I do, either my father used to tell how bad I am going to turn out if I protested this that. My mom too that my mindset is so bad that I will not take care of her. Most of the times I used to hear that When i am going to earn I am gonna betray her and she used to lecture me on it. I got job this year and well.. I just told I wanna resume my gym which is 1000rs and nothing more but still today it happened. I am very tired . I hope I never have been born. I am very conflicted by my thoughts. Though I am a failure truly I havent become something great but yeah ... . I can't take this anymore.