I'm still in love with my best friend

It's just that, I'm a woman in my mid 20s, she's two years older than me, we both grew very close during a very hard time of our lives, she helped me escape an abusive situation at home, was supportive of me coming out as a lesbian and was the first woman i ever had sex with. I know she loves me very much, but she was very clear from the start that she was not going to be my girlfriend, i get that, and we aren't intimate anymore, just very good friends.

She's the most important person in the world to me, and in any life time i would rather keep her as my friend than lose her over a stupid crush. I don't talk to my family or anybody from my past anymore, for my own safety, and even tho i do have lots of new friends, she's the closest thing i have to family now.

I want to be ok with this whole situation, but it's just kinda hard trying to let go of the feeling. I know everything passes with time and i'm sure love it's gonna find me some way or another, i just wanted to vent. It feels so stupid to be so heartbroken over a situation that is, honestly, really great and chill, but it's a human thing to want to be loved by someone the way you love them, at least i think it is. Nobody is wrong or evil in this scenario, it just makes me feel a bit sad and pathetic