How do I figure out what I want/enjoy?

I’ve recently had a few instances that brutally made me face that it’s so hard for me to figure out what I want, like or enjoy. What food do I want? Where do I want to travel? What should I wear? What brings me joy? I DON’T KNOW and it makes me want to cry.

I had a day to myself recently that I’ve decided to dedicate towards _enjoying_ it rather than “running errands”. It ended up being such a sad day bc I just couldn’t understand what would I enjoy. I was fighting off compulsions to “get things done”, but I just didn’t know what to do with myself.. to enjoy. To be happy. To feel better. If it’s not being productive or caretaking.

I’m a highly functioning overachieving care taking 37F, but I struggle so much to understand what makes me happy. I just don’t know what brings me joy. It’s so sad.

Another instance: buying all these self care products and courses and “not finding time” to use them. Figuring out what I like to wear, to visit, to experience - is too low of a priority. So I end with other people’s suggestions or something that’s whatever or good enough.

I just feel SO neglected. And so overwhelmed by how lost I am when it comes to “how do I make myself happy?”

Anyone else had to learn and discover your own likes/wants as an adult? Any advice would be appreciated