Welp I guess I'm going for it

Y'all I didn't think I'd ever feel confident about myself like this or a decision I'm making but I guess I'm getting this HRT stuff tomorrow. I have been beating myself up about it for like a month now, I was planning on doing this like 5 or 6 years ago, but I ended up getting on crazy amounts of drugs and forcing myself to forget about it because the people I was around were highly homophobic and just really shitty people. I'm not gonna go into it but SA was involved and I almost got kidnapped by that same group later on.

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Anyways now that I'm clean, it's coming back to me. All the memories I made myself forget and everything that I thought I didn't like anymore. It almost drove me to the point of suicide. I was humiliated like hell. I decided later on it would be better to accept myself for who I am because hating myself will make me end everything eventually. It's been difficult as fuck. But I decided I'm gonna just try this stuff and see if it helps like it has before.

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So that's what I'm doing. No idea where this confidence came from but hell yeah wish me luck. I hope it goes well even if I end up not needing it. I didn't think I'd ever have gender dysphoria especially since I was stuck around homophobic people for so long I almost became the same thing unfortunately. But this is what I want to do I guess so here goes. Ive never had problems with this to this extent so i hope it helps me feel more like myself.