Disassociated BF

I had a hyperventilation episode yesterday because I burst into tears and had to go to the ER. I couldn’t control my emotions or my breathing.

We argued yesterday. He still dissociates whenever we have a misunderstanding. He shuts down every time I try to speak and just leaves me talking to him.
I know I used to shout a lot, but I’m slowly building my patience. Even when I calmly explain my problem to him, he still doesn’t change.

I slipped back into my old self I shouted again and burst into tears. All I can say is, you didn’t change at all. You just blame how I reacted when, in fact, you’re the reason I am like this.

Then I checked his phone and found his conversation with a co‑worker deleted. I’m about to confront him again.

I just needed to get this off my chest. I don’t want to talk about it with my friends or family.