How do I find women who don’t treat me like an object

Everyone woman I pursue romantically only seems to be interested in me as a tool to deliver Status, validation, money or touch. They don’t care about me at all no matter how much I care about them.

I love these women, I listen to them, I respect them, I take them on nice dates, I go the extra mile on every little thing but get nothing back. No love, no appreciation, but they get hurt when I stop doing things for them. I feel like nothing and mentioning this feeling usually makes them violent towards me.

Obviously these women are troubled and I want to help but I don’t believe I’m capable of helping (without giving up a quarter of my life to someone who barely treats me like a person)

Obviously I am the common denominator so I am the problem, what do I do?