I really find myself unbearable

I want to die. I really do, there’s nothing for me to do with my life anymore. I’m 17, addicted to drugs, dad’s in jail, I’ve been in and out of juvie since I was 14, and right now I’m on an ankle monitor. My mother has also been really abusive to me like beating me, making fun of me, and shaming me to her friends. I’ve tried different things like drinking gasoline and hanging but nothings working worked. I threw up the gas and the belt I tried hanging my self with is really uncomfortable. Obviously… but I just really find no moral value in myself.