Just venting out...a very , very bad morning indeed !

Needed to vent out, just heard the thud sound of a baby pigeon falling...and i can't muster the courage to look down, knowing probably it's not alive. can't stop the tears and helplessness i feel....knowing maybe, i could've saved it if i have tried harder ..maybe it would've have healed and fly on day...maybe i should have been more sensitive and less ignorant

it all started few days ago , when a baby pigeon flew straight into my home through the balcony ang got struck with moving fan...it was bleeding , one wing badly cut , it hid into one corner of the room , my mother applied turmeric to its found,fed him water...it stayed in the corner for whole 2 days , after the first day it didn't drank or ate anything.

yesterday , it started hopping aroound the house , so we left it in the balcony , cuz he might hv got more afraid of moving people inside the house. Now big pigeons starting flapping their wings at him now and then, his wing still injured , we kep shooing the big pigeons away throughout the day. He also ate the grains yesterday.

He was free and maybe happy for a while , kept chirping , tht was until the other pigeons started sort of disturbing him. This time he retreated to one corner of the balcony. I was pulling an all nighter, awake till 5 am. Around this time , sky was becoming clear, the other pigeons started coming again.

I shoeed them as soon as i heard the baby bird's chirping, the pigeons were gone...but the baby bird ? it had hopped onto the railing .....at the very corner ..like it wanted to fly . I knew it couldn't , hell it's wing hadn't even healed..the tissue was gone , how could it fly until new feathers grew.

I...I wanted to hold it nd put it down...but my damn fear , i feared what if it moved till the very edge and up falling, I waited., rushed inside, prayed with tears in eyes ..let him come down, pls godd let him jumpdown, i swear i will always be grateful and all sorts of bizaare promises.

And then i heard the 'thud' sound. went out.he was not there. Now I am grieving I don't exactly what ? my cowardice ? his fate ? or a soul gone too early , suffered too much ?

Maybe i should hv forced my parents to grt a cafge, maybe it could've lived till it healed..maybe , i should have forced to get it to a vet. Anyway , i'll always remember this.