What would you do if you were me?

My boyfriend has been very emotionally abusive and a few times physically abusive, or has driven erratically (stepped on the gas) to frighten me to control me.

Last night we had a heated argument that led to him chasing me, throwing things at me, throwing things generally, screaming at me, and not letting me leave. I called the cops because I was so scared and it made him stop.

I was holding a knife in case he got close to me so after I called 911, HE called 911 and said I was chasing him with a knife.

When the cops came they believed my side and gave me resources to get a restraining order emergency funds etc.

I’m scared if I file a restraining order he’s going to uno reverse that too. I’ve said and done some crazy shit in response to his abuse (I kinda feel like anyone would and it’s human nature) and I’m afraid he’s going to reframe things. He uses the therapy talk he’s learned to try to convince me that I’m abusing him (this is not true - I’ve spoken extensively with DV advocates and friends and learned about reactive abuse).

What do I do? Damned if I do and damned if I don’t

I also don’t have any money and am probably losing my job from taking too much leave after surgery. I’m beginning a legal battle with my employer right now too :( So much stress

Thanks for any advice