Im having identity issues

I was born in the UK to a Mexican father and an English mother, but for most of my life I have never felt connected to a British identity. Growing up, I disliked the English language and often felt disconnected from the people around me. From a very young age, I would tell my mum that I wanted to live in Mexico, give up my British passport, and identify only as Mexican. Whenever I travel and have to use my British passport, I become extremely distressed, insecure, and sometimes even experience suicidal thoughts. Most people assume that I am Mexican, or at least Spanish-speaking, based on my appearance, and I strongly prefer that. Spanish feels like my natural language. It is the language in which I feel most comfortable, most expressive, and most at home. Nearly all of my interests, hobbies, media consumption, and cultural influences are Mexican or Spanish-speaking. The music I listen to is almost entirely in Spanish, and I often feel isolated because very few people around me speak the language. To make things more complicated, I cut contact with my father due to his abusive behaviour, which has left me feeling even more disconnected from that side of my family. My feelings about my identity have become so intense that whenever I have to say where I was born, or when people automatically label me as British, I sometimes break down in tears or completely withdraw into myself. It triggers a deep sense of insecurity and discomfort that is difficult to explain to others. These feelings have also affected my ability to make friends and date, as I often feel misunderstood or disconnected from the people around me. Last year, I lived in Mexico and intended to stay permanently. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could truly be myself. Everyday life felt easier, more natural, and more authentic than it ever had in the UK. Unfortunately, circumstances outside my control forced me to return, and I am unable to move back until October. As I get older, these feelings seem to become stronger rather than weaker. Being labelled as British causes me increasing distress, and since returning to the UK my struggles with identity have become even more intense. It feels like a battle that I face every day. I know that nationality, ethnicity, culture, and identity can be complicated, especially for people who grow up between different backgrounds. However, I often feel alone in these experiences and wonder if anyone else has felt something similar. Has anyone else struggled with feeling disconnected from the country they were born in while feeling a much stronger connection to another part of their heritage? How have you dealt with it